self work
IFS therapy is Self-led so listening within is essential
Parts are like kids who want to be listened to, acknowledged and seen. You can think of them as your internal family members. They require active listening so you can understand what they wish to communicate with you. Checking in with them after and between your sessions is essential to create inner balance and harmony. Click here for more IFS info.
Draw your parts after a session
After a session take a blank sheet of paper and draw whatever parts you communicated with. This can be scribbles, words, labels, or any colours or shapes. This is not about making high art it’s about intuitively expressing your internal experience so you can see it from a different perspective.
This may allow you to observe connections that feel important. Perhaps certain parts work in teams or are they in conflict? Your piece of paper may now look like a mind map or a spider web.
Reflect on the picture you have created. Write down in your journal how do you feel about each part?
Here are some ideas to check in with your parts:
Choose an object to represent them. For example, if you are working with your inner child, you could have a picture of you at that time as wallpaper on your phone. It can be an object of any kind, to acknowledge them each day for an inner conversation.
Journal. Another technique is to journal from part to part or part to Self. You could use your dominant hand for Self, and your non-dominant hand for the other part. Divide the page in 2 and start the dialogue on the left-hand side. Then continue from another part on the right: For example, it could be a dialogue between your inner critic and your curious playful part.
This conversation has probably occurred many times in your head. By putting it outside and perhaps revisiting it the next day it can help you become aware of your inner dynamics. For example, your young part is scared of your father’s anger and is projecting that now on an intimate partner.
Art. Expressing your parts through art be it drawing, painting, sculpting or any other way is very therapeutic. Join this IFS facebook group to connect with others who express their parts through creativity.
Meditation. Some meditation techniques regard thoughts and feelings as distractions. To be excluded from the focus of the meditation. Here we do the opposite. The point is to bring attention to the parts.
You may wish to create a quiet space and ask your parts to separate out a bit. Then you can start an inner dialogue. Address any concerns they may have. If they separate out you feel more expansive. When it feels right ask whatever parts would like some attention. Ask them how they are and what is alive. Or simply sit and invite a part to present itself to you.
Email. You can set up an account for your parts. For example, if someone is driving you crazy and you’re mad at them (your firefighter is triggered). Express this rage in an angry email to your own designated account. Later when the firefighter energy has cooled you can open it. Witness the firefighter and perhaps enquire about the exile to which it is connected.
30-day parts integration
If you have renegotiated roles with your protectors or unburdened younger ‘exiles’, then checking in with them for the next 30 days is especially important! I will let you know when this is important. Feel free to ask questions if anything is unclear.
In this case, think of your parts as staff in new roles; they need your support settling into their new positions. To ease their cooperation you need to listen to their concerns and comments and respond to them accordingly. This helps them to adjust well to the new situation that may be very different from what they have experienced in the past.